Goddammit I hate how emo I sound sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Molly came over recently. It was an interesting sleepover,  and it made me realize how much I, and she, and the rest of the class have changed.

One thing that kind of scared me while Molly was here was that she and I had switched rolls. She was now the talkative, enthusiastic, happy person, and I was the morose, saddened, quiet one. We noticed it to. She asked me if I was depressed.

The truth is, I don’t know.  I guess I do less hugging, less smiling, less laughing. It buggs me a little.

The feelings I feel the most nowadays must be loneliness and loss. Lunch time I always find something to do because I hate sitting with my friends and talking. They are nt interesting or fun to talk to. They always talk about things I don’t know about. They are just things they have been talking about their whole life.

I miss my class so much. I want to be back at Peninsula School sitting in the classroom talking about random shit. But everyone is different now. No one will talk to me. Jesus christ I need a better life.

I never thought of suicide seriously until nowadays, but I would never get to that point. I have a future I have planned and I am just ready to get out of high school and move on.

I am being so emo I know, but I can’t think of much else to talk about.

Ok. I like a guy! He’s this really cute guy and in two of my classes. I don’t know if he knows I exist. I hope so. However I am the worst at making the first move. Everything else in a relationship I can handle fine.  I just hate trying to start one.

There I go being emo again!!!!!!!!!

Something different on the Negative Blog

What I haave been finding interesting about this site is that I always seem to write about whatever is bothering me in the moment, so sometimes I will talk about love for many many posts, and recently it has all been about Peninsula. I say the same thing a lot. So, let me talk about something else on my mind.How about how stupid people are at school.Just kidding there isn’t much on that subject (but they are stupid). God this is like my “Negative Blog”  where I write all my negative thoughts. I’m gonna go change the title of my site.

missing my family, during a frustraiting day

At this moment I am in the freshmen computer lab at HMBHS. So far, today has been horribly frustrating.

This morning was fine until Spanish class. Mr. Fernandez gave us a Pop Quiz and it was awful. Some of it was him just teaching us random shit, and the rest of it was sentences that were really difficult and I didn’t understand.

To top that off, no one else did and tried asking him so many questions, and it took us 20 minutes to get through the first section. He kept us in at break, and said he was taking a ton of points of people.

I am so sure he took points off of me cause me and Julie were talking, but we were only trying to figure out his quiz, and working with each other and looking through our notes to figure it all out.  My grade in that class is almost a C, and if it gets that far I will not be allowed to drive.

A lot of my teachers have been screwing up on my grades, and Dad is starting to freak out and soon he’ll be watching my every move. I wish he could just leave me alone!

I miss my Peninsula friends so much they are better than the people here.

I have to deal with thisguy Alec too. When he was new here I was so nice to him and helped him fin friends. Now he is an asshole to me all the time and I can’t stand it. I told him top please stop insulting me. He was like, “No, i find it funny.” and I was like, “But I don’t so will you please stop?” Alec was like, “No!” and walked away. He is so mean and awful.

This makes me think of my class and how much I love them. I miss sitting in the class room or Gazebo and laughing and talking. We talked about random shit. I miss the camping trips where we lived together and played truth or dare.

I miss that night in 7th Grade where we sat looking over the lake at Pinecrest,  then sang “You can’t always get what you want” and made up words to the verses. No one at this school has as much talent as my class. I don’t ever tell anyone how much I miss my class, I guess because I am afraid they will judge me.

I love and miss my class.