im tired. but i thought I would write something…………

SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Night Night

My Fucking Asshole of a Father

My Dad is an asshole who need a slap in the face. He tries so hard to control my school life because he doesn’t control my social life. He doesn’t completely know me anymore so he is trying to control my schoolwork in a way so that I have no time for myself. He probably doesn’t even know he is doing it.
Have you ever noticed how when parents order you to do something, you are inclined to do the exact opposite.
Fucking hell. My Dad tries to control me. I get A’s in school but he freaks out at anything I do that is not school related. They can’t let go of me and let me expand and figure out who the fuck I am.
I want to be independent. Yeah I know he is my dad and he still has a little power over me but he shouldn’t have this much. My Dad gets mad at me if I don’t do my Algebra homework before my English Homework, even if I am working on finishing a report due the next day.
Today I spent all day on a stupid “Novel Notes” thing. I would have done it throughout the week but we had Homecoming and my teacher didn’t give us slack. She gave us this plus daily homework then we had other teachers give us daily homework and weekly homework. My Dad was freaking cause I wasn’t getting all this done by Fucking 10:00. I mean, FUCK! Since when did we reinstall a bed time? How old am I?
It makes me wish I had different parents, because I feel like my parents are having such a hard time letting go that im not a kid anymore that they are trying to turn me back into one or something and take back their control of my life. It makes me want to drop out of school next year and start working full time away from them. maybe I’ll go live in Menlo Park. Then I would see friends. but then I remember that I fucking want to go to college to fucking get a good job and a good life. So now I have to deal with 4 fucking years with my facking asshole of a father, who freaks out if I get a C in a class. (COME ON! I DON”T GEt MANY! AND I AM NOT GOING TO FAIL EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE OF ONE FUCKING C!!!!!!!)

My Dad is such an asshole.

Newness all around.

It’s really crazy how much I have settled in to this new life I have, and how much I am still figureing out. I have been introduced to a new school, new community, new drama club, new ballet class, its crazy!

If you reading this, (whoever the fuck you are) you might have been a new kid once. Scratch that, you have PROBABLY been a new kid once. Now try being the new kid almost every where you go! It SUCKS ASS!!!!!!!!

Yeah, at school its nice but no one really knows me, I mean my old class new me inside out, but these people don’t. I am makeing friends slowly however.

It really touchs me every time someone really tries to be my friend. I mean, i have reached out to people, but when someone reaches out to me, it just touchs me. For instance, a girl in a group I hang out with, I thought she just liked talking to me but I hang with her more and more now, she and another girl asked if I wanted to go trick or treating with them and she wants to hang out this weekend. It touchs me that she really tries to be my friend as much as I try to be hers.

Another girl really helps me survive this school. She is always telling me whatever I don’t know about the school system, and she is kind about people who are mean to me. For instance, theres a girl in my class who thinks im weird and doesn’t like me, and makes SURE i know about it. This girl told me the very first day to ignore her adn that shes just a bitch anyway.

So as schooll becomes a more comfortable envornment, so does ballet. In the summer I went to the dance camp where all the other girls from the school go, and started ballet for the first time with girls who have been doing ballet since they were 6 or younger. I was always kind of uncomfortable, but this year, i am doing better and better at talking to them and becomeing better friends with them.

Then there is acting, where everyone is very accepting, and it reminds me of Peninsula a little. I have made some friends there and they are all cool.

Anyways Im sleepy. I’ll write more l8er!