Well, today was pretty crappy, and I will not mention names in any of this.
It started out with PE, which was reccos and soccer. Reccos wasn’t bad. It was soccer that sucked shit. I was afraid of the ball. Last time we played soccer, I was hit with the ball three times. Once in the shoulder, the other two in the face. I did alright this time. I was, however really insulted by one of the boys in the class. During the game, Buck was golley and left, so I took over for about a second, and this guy called a fowl and said he should get a free shot, but he only said that cause I was in the goal, and got pissed at Buck for trying to swich w/ me cause I was afriad of the ball. He was acting like such an ass!!!!
Then math, it wasn’t to bad, got out really early and had no one to talk to. Then choice. Chioce really sucks. At least, this choice does. It’s “giftmaking” and what we are doing now is makeing candles. There are to many people in the chioce so i made like about, four, four really fast and easy ones over a week. So I dont do ANYTHING in the kitchen, just outside with sand candles, and I do most of the cleanup. I mean! Fuck this!
OMG, I have like, no friends left to hang with. One of my awesomest friends is being really, i dunno…
When she first came to the school she and I were really cool friends. We did so much together, then she started making new firnds, and I was cool with that, then she started not hanging with me as much, saying sometimes she needed “breaks” from any of her friends. But now, she has found three other friends and she NEVER hangs out with me unless for some reason they are all unable to be around her. It like I am an old toy, tossed aside for new toys, and when the new toys are being played with by someone else, I am played with. I know that sounds weird but it’s true. It fucking sux shit! It’s like I’m not good enough for her.
My other friends leave me out a lot too. I mean, these two peoplewere both really cool, I loved talking and hanging with them both, but then one started likeing another, so i got them on friendly terms, now they won’t talk to me, when I am around them when they are around each other, they leave me out. They ignore me and act as if I’m not there.
This all just makes me wonder why I keep finding friendsthen suddenly ending up by myself with no one. Am I just annoying? Or weird, or am I mean? Why do people use me? I have feelings, but it sometimes seems like everyone has forgotten that. The only time I feel like I am truly peaceful and happy is when i dance, which wont start again till 2007.
I guess that there is a good reason why people use me. Or just dont like me. But I cant see it. Allright then, thats it!
